The warm weight of a sleeping baby is one way God makes motherhood and wife-dom worth the (strenuous) effort! I just put Evelynn down for her nap. She snuggled close, looked up and smiled in my general direction, and sighed a contented sigh. I was so blessed that I just sat there staring at her without moving for several minutes. Larry and I have been talking a lot about God's provision and our believing. Our Father promises that He will provide all our needs. The promise I am hanging my hat on right now is Eph. 2:19 which says that we are in the household of God. The verse makes me giggle when I think about my kids. My children absolutely do not worry about rent. They do not wonder if there will be enough food for dinner. They know they will always have a safe, comfy place to sleep. In short, they implicitly understand that their needs will be met by their parents. As a matter of fact, when a child fears they will not be taken care of even our carnal society recognizes there is something wrong and has developed agencies like Child Protective Services. Well, we are children in God's household. He will provide all our needs. My job is simply to trust my Father. Following the same analogy, I am so blessed as a mother when Caleb responds to me with trust. I am blessed when he seeks me for comfort. I wonder if God is not so different.
Today we spent the morning at Mike and Kathy's house. We all had a blast. Caleb ate and ate, like always. Whenever we mention Kathy, he immediately says, "cookies?!?!" :) Today he was served waffles with jam and yogurt and tea in his own special, porcelain tea cup. He was very excited. Evie looked stunning in her new navy blue and white sailor suit, compliments of Kathy and Felicity. Dave and Hil showed up at some point in the morning, and we were all blessed to be together as a family - eating, praying, talking and generally enjoying the party.
I keep thinking about the verse that admonishes us to "forget not all His blessings." Although they are harder to "see", spiritual blessings have more weight than physical. My family was so blessed to be with the saints this morning. I was so happy to watch my children be loved on and cared for while learning and having fun.
Larry and I are working through some very tough issues born of our previous marriages, but God is producing much fruit in our lives as we become one flesh. Our children are literally thriving (have you seen Evie's thighs lately??), healthy, and happy. They are learning obedience and God's love. Our home is safe and comfortable; our vehicles are running; our bodies are sound; our hearts are at peace. These spiritual blessings are worth more than the sum total of our national debt! What a lie from satan that I would even consider that my Father has not provided for me just because I don't have the latest and greatest. Thank God I have my little sleepy Evie to remind me that my life is NOT physical, but eternal, and in His capable hands.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
An attempt
Today was a lovely, relaxing Sunday. As the babies grow (and sleep longer through the night) and our marriage matures, family life just gets sweeter. This morning we made oatmeal-banana pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Yum. Caleb ate his weight in pancakes, staked high with plain yogurt and jam. Evelynn slurped and spit up most of her teaspoon or so of mashed banana, a process which took 30 minutes. :) She made us all laugh. Caleb decided he wanted to go to church with Daddy while Evie and I stayed home to nap. I journaled in the sun shine while she slept. Then we went for a wonderful walk while we listened to the teaching via the conference line. It was a deliciously quite and uneventful walk.
I started this blog nearly a week ago. I only got as far as the first paragraph above. My folks came over for dinner tonight. We had pot roast. They taught Caleb how to do a somersault - something I attempted to do this morning before realizing I could no longer preform a simple roll without fear of breaking my neck. The kids did well for their nana and papa.
Larry has been working out of the house for the last week or so. It's difficult to have him gone for so many hours a day. I am beginning to feel the full weight of being a full-time, stay-at-home-mom and wife (that's a lot of hyphens!). Being home with the kids all day alone is challenging. Evelynn is teething. Need I say more? She is like our own crying baby setting on the sound machine. Caleb does really well with her. He can make her laugh and giggle through tears.
***
I started this blog nearly a week ago. I only got as far as the first paragraph above. My folks came over for dinner tonight. We had pot roast. They taught Caleb how to do a somersault - something I attempted to do this morning before realizing I could no longer preform a simple roll without fear of breaking my neck. The kids did well for their nana and papa.
Larry has been working out of the house for the last week or so. It's difficult to have him gone for so many hours a day. I am beginning to feel the full weight of being a full-time, stay-at-home-mom and wife (that's a lot of hyphens!). Being home with the kids all day alone is challenging. Evelynn is teething. Need I say more? She is like our own crying baby setting on the sound machine. Caleb does really well with her. He can make her laugh and giggle through tears.
***
Apparently this has become a multi-day blog attempt. Both kids are napping now (or are in their cribs at least). I just put Evelynn down. She looks just like a little pink jelly bean. She's curled into a fetal position, wearing a pink jumper. Caleb just hollered from his crib, "Jacqwin! Baby bear fell out!" (yes, he is very excited to have learned my name and uses it frequently because it makes his daddy laugh). After retrieving his baby bear, Emily, perhaps he'll go to sleep.
I think I'll put this blog out of its misery. I have no exiting new insights to report or truly memorable moments to record. I'm just plodding along as a new creation in Christ, trying to be the mother and wife God created me to be.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Off duty
Caleb and Evelynn are asleep. Larry drew me a bath; I'm headed there now. It's been a long while since I have written. Caleb is getting so grown up and has begun to get excited about being a big brother. He loves to make Evelynn laugh. She has this delightful, high pitched peal. Caleb will get started with his two-year old, "ho, ho, ho" just to watch her face crinkle into a big smile. They egg each other on. This morning Caleb (who peed out of his diaper last night) got into the bath...where he stayed contentedly playing for 2+ hours. I propped Evie up in her car seat; she was enthralled with the water and Caleb. It was a nice set up. I got the laundry folded and put away and they had a blast. Caleb walked around all day saying "wrinkly!" and pointing to his finger tips.
The kids and I have planted flowers in the front and back yard. After the long storm last week, the flowers are really thriving. Caleb has learned to enjoy worms and rolly-pollies (pill bugs). Today two little sparrows got themselves stuck in the garage. Caleb and I had a really good conversation about how God takes care of everything - - even the birdies. He's such a little conversationalist and nods intelligently as if he understands exactly what I am saying. We talked and talked about satan and God's angels and spiritual warfare. Caleb is a hoot! I seriously wonder what is going on in his head when we discuss such hefty matters! I held Caleb up, and he opened the garage door to let the birds go free.
Evelynn is finally sleeping through the night! Gotta love the Ferber, cry-it-out method. Hard to stick to, but within three days she got the hang of it. She's just a peach and loves to flirt, especially with her daddy. Larry will get real close and kiss her lips. She tilts her head sideways and flutters her long, dark lashes. It's beautiful to watch.
Larry and I have been reading lots of fun stuff in Colossians and Ephesians; I love the Phillips Modern translation. Marriage is sure challenging, but I would not chose a different path. It's wonderful to work through the scriptures in light of our difficulties, together.
That's about all for now. I'm off duty; time to relax! :)
The kids and I have planted flowers in the front and back yard. After the long storm last week, the flowers are really thriving. Caleb has learned to enjoy worms and rolly-pollies (pill bugs). Today two little sparrows got themselves stuck in the garage. Caleb and I had a really good conversation about how God takes care of everything - - even the birdies. He's such a little conversationalist and nods intelligently as if he understands exactly what I am saying. We talked and talked about satan and God's angels and spiritual warfare. Caleb is a hoot! I seriously wonder what is going on in his head when we discuss such hefty matters! I held Caleb up, and he opened the garage door to let the birds go free.
Evelynn is finally sleeping through the night! Gotta love the Ferber, cry-it-out method. Hard to stick to, but within three days she got the hang of it. She's just a peach and loves to flirt, especially with her daddy. Larry will get real close and kiss her lips. She tilts her head sideways and flutters her long, dark lashes. It's beautiful to watch.
Larry and I have been reading lots of fun stuff in Colossians and Ephesians; I love the Phillips Modern translation. Marriage is sure challenging, but I would not chose a different path. It's wonderful to work through the scriptures in light of our difficulties, together.
That's about all for now. I'm off duty; time to relax! :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I Will Stand
Standards suck. There's no way around it. The standards I have layered up in my heart from years of being told the "right" way to be and do creep up on me at the most inopportune times. The really horrible part is that I catch myself putting my standards on my children without even thinking about it. My house is less than perfect. But I've decided to make training my children a priority. My wardrobe is outdated by nearly a decade. But I've decided to stay home with my children rather than make money to shop. It's hard to choose the quite eternal aspects of life when the flashy temporal things are just so much better looking!
It's affirming to see the fruit of our "labors" in our kids. Caleb has an amazing depth of understand about God's thoughts and ways. We had our first splinter-pulling surgery this morning. After carefully sanitizing his finger with hydrogen peroxide, I started digging into his hand with a needle. Pretty traumatic when you are two. When asked what we should do when in pain, he says "Pain go away in Christ. All healed." We are teaching him to believe God's thoughts and ways above the circumstances. He knows that the band-aid did not make him feel better, but that God healed his finger through Christ. Wow. He watches us to see that our actions match our words. Larry has been having back pain. Caleb mimics Larry by putting both hands on his back and shouting to us and God that he is "all healed, Christ." Pretty cool.
Evelynn is a sweet pea. She is enamored with her brother. She may be all fussy and upset, but as soon as Caleb walks into her line of vision, she gurgles and smiles. Caleb is significantly less fond of Evie at this point. He will only kiss her when we press him to. Yesterday, he did bring her the binky. Before he put it into her mouth, he popped it into his own (like Larry and I do to ensure there's no dirty, fuzz or anything harmful). He learns so much by watching us.
I'm learning how to fight spiritually for these two darlings of mine. God says that I don't fight against flesh and blood but against the powers and principalities of darkness. I'm the guardian of my home. I am just now learning that satan was totally defeated at the cross and that he has no "legal" power or authority on his own. All he has is the authority and rights that I give him by subjecting my will, authority, and rights to his demonic control. We operate from heavenly places because we are IN CHRIST, seated at the right hand of God. I will stand at the door way of my home and claim the blood of Christ over my home, my family, and our hearts.
It's affirming to see the fruit of our "labors" in our kids. Caleb has an amazing depth of understand about God's thoughts and ways. We had our first splinter-pulling surgery this morning. After carefully sanitizing his finger with hydrogen peroxide, I started digging into his hand with a needle. Pretty traumatic when you are two. When asked what we should do when in pain, he says "Pain go away in Christ. All healed." We are teaching him to believe God's thoughts and ways above the circumstances. He knows that the band-aid did not make him feel better, but that God healed his finger through Christ. Wow. He watches us to see that our actions match our words. Larry has been having back pain. Caleb mimics Larry by putting both hands on his back and shouting to us and God that he is "all healed, Christ." Pretty cool.
Evelynn is a sweet pea. She is enamored with her brother. She may be all fussy and upset, but as soon as Caleb walks into her line of vision, she gurgles and smiles. Caleb is significantly less fond of Evie at this point. He will only kiss her when we press him to. Yesterday, he did bring her the binky. Before he put it into her mouth, he popped it into his own (like Larry and I do to ensure there's no dirty, fuzz or anything harmful). He learns so much by watching us.
I'm learning how to fight spiritually for these two darlings of mine. God says that I don't fight against flesh and blood but against the powers and principalities of darkness. I'm the guardian of my home. I am just now learning that satan was totally defeated at the cross and that he has no "legal" power or authority on his own. All he has is the authority and rights that I give him by subjecting my will, authority, and rights to his demonic control. We operate from heavenly places because we are IN CHRIST, seated at the right hand of God. I will stand at the door way of my home and claim the blood of Christ over my home, my family, and our hearts.
Monday, March 14, 2011
What a trip!
Well God has come through for us again! We have completed the state inspection for our RCFE (Residential Care Facility for the Elderly) - Abundant Living For Seniors. I was unnerved to watch our case worker step out of her car with a huge brief case and a loaded clip board. She walked ceremoniously towards our front door as I nervously pulled the car out of the drive way with the kids. We went to the park so we wouldn't be in the way while she conducted her inspection of our home. Yikes. We spent the previous 24 hours organizing, folding, wiping, adjusting and cleaning our home. I was sure we weren't going to pass. The check list for the inspection was three PAGES long! Good grief. But God is good, and our home is ship shape and ready for residents.
The other big news is our new Honda! We recently sold my '03 Honda Pilot to get out from under the steep payment every month. Right now Larry is picking up my new Honda minivan! It's amazing that when I decide to trust God with my little life (giving up my Pilot was difficult as it was the first new vehicle I've ever owned), He blesses me in abundance. The new van is completely loaded (6 CD changer, DVD, butt warmers, etc.!) and has less miles on it that my Pilot! Wow.
Before Larry left to go pick up the van, he took Caleb aside and in a serious voice told him to take care of his mommy. A few minutes after the kids and I came back inside, Caleb touches my shoulder and says, "How you doing, Mommy?" Then he motions for me to kiss him on one cheek, then the other. Just when I thought he couldn't be any sweeter, he lifts both arms up and says "hug too please." He certainly knows how to take care of his mommy!
Larry being away has given me chance to really appreciate him and to trust my Father. I feel much more vulnerable without my husband in the house. I find myself having to push fear out of my mind and replace it with truth all the time. Fears about my kids, their health, and our safety creep in when I least expect them. This has been the first time Larry has been away since before Evelynn was born. God is working into me the reality that I have authority in Christ over all darkness. Colossians 2: 15 says that Christ disarmed the rulers and authorities of darkness and made a public display of them having triumphed over them through the cross. I've been practicing! Sickness, fear, and doubt have no place in the Newman household (even when my husband is gone) because I am in Christ who has triumphed over satan. What a trip! :)
I continue to be amazed at God's goodness and grace towards me.
The other big news is our new Honda! We recently sold my '03 Honda Pilot to get out from under the steep payment every month. Right now Larry is picking up my new Honda minivan! It's amazing that when I decide to trust God with my little life (giving up my Pilot was difficult as it was the first new vehicle I've ever owned), He blesses me in abundance. The new van is completely loaded (6 CD changer, DVD, butt warmers, etc.!) and has less miles on it that my Pilot! Wow.
Before Larry left to go pick up the van, he took Caleb aside and in a serious voice told him to take care of his mommy. A few minutes after the kids and I came back inside, Caleb touches my shoulder and says, "How you doing, Mommy?" Then he motions for me to kiss him on one cheek, then the other. Just when I thought he couldn't be any sweeter, he lifts both arms up and says "hug too please." He certainly knows how to take care of his mommy!
Larry being away has given me chance to really appreciate him and to trust my Father. I feel much more vulnerable without my husband in the house. I find myself having to push fear out of my mind and replace it with truth all the time. Fears about my kids, their health, and our safety creep in when I least expect them. This has been the first time Larry has been away since before Evelynn was born. God is working into me the reality that I have authority in Christ over all darkness. Colossians 2: 15 says that Christ disarmed the rulers and authorities of darkness and made a public display of them having triumphed over them through the cross. I've been practicing! Sickness, fear, and doubt have no place in the Newman household (even when my husband is gone) because I am in Christ who has triumphed over satan. What a trip! :)
I continue to be amazed at God's goodness and grace towards me.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Holding hands in the dark
While rocking my boy before bed this evening, he reached his chubby baby hand down to find mine. He intertwined our fingers. What a sweet gesture. Even amongst all the difficulties of the day, real and imagined, I am blessed.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Cheese tortillas at noon
At Caleb's request, we had cheese tortillas for lunch today. He's such an interesting little boy. I was humming a hymn that was stuck in my head from Sunday when I put him into his high chair. Caleb looked up and said "redeemed!" which is the name of the song I was humming. My smart little parrot! Half way through his tortilla he looked right at me and said "Christ healed you." Which really struck my heart as I have been thinking about this reality a lot lately. I believe this was his second full sentence (if you want to count his debut with "I'm buff" a couple weeks ago as his first). I was nearly speechless for a minute.
Our lunch together got me thinking about how different my life could be right now. I recently resigned from teaching at COS. If I were working, I would have missed so much! I would be busy thinking about lesson plans, grading, and curriculum. It was such a difficult decision to make, but I daily find so many blessings in being home with my children and husband. Even so, I often find myself wondering if I shouldn't be "doing" more. You know, contributing to the gross national product or something. As if I ought to be busy and stressed and earning my keep. My wonderful husband continues to tell me to relax and enjoy my life in Christ, babies, and home. That's new. Relax? Tempting for sure.
More often than not I find myself fighting the desire to do things out of obligation. For example, Larry is outside picking weeds. Because he is working, I feel obligated to work outside as well. My motivation is a matter of feeling right in his sight (I don't want my husband thinking he married a lazy wife...) when in reality I am right in God's sight. Why do I work so hard to please others when God says that as a result of Christ's work, I am righteous?
My kids continue to be great reminders of spiritual realities. They are children; they don't over analyze things. Caleb accepts the provision we give him (cheese tortillas at noon). Evelynn's heart is easily comforted by our words when she is upset. Neither of them desire to earn their keep. Their entire "job" rests in being loved. And so they are.
Our lunch together got me thinking about how different my life could be right now. I recently resigned from teaching at COS. If I were working, I would have missed so much! I would be busy thinking about lesson plans, grading, and curriculum. It was such a difficult decision to make, but I daily find so many blessings in being home with my children and husband. Even so, I often find myself wondering if I shouldn't be "doing" more. You know, contributing to the gross national product or something. As if I ought to be busy and stressed and earning my keep. My wonderful husband continues to tell me to relax and enjoy my life in Christ, babies, and home. That's new. Relax? Tempting for sure.
More often than not I find myself fighting the desire to do things out of obligation. For example, Larry is outside picking weeds. Because he is working, I feel obligated to work outside as well. My motivation is a matter of feeling right in his sight (I don't want my husband thinking he married a lazy wife...) when in reality I am right in God's sight. Why do I work so hard to please others when God says that as a result of Christ's work, I am righteous?
My kids continue to be great reminders of spiritual realities. They are children; they don't over analyze things. Caleb accepts the provision we give him (cheese tortillas at noon). Evelynn's heart is easily comforted by our words when she is upset. Neither of them desire to earn their keep. Their entire "job" rests in being loved. And so they are.
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